Your post has been automatically removed because it appears to be asking if some aspect of someone else's or your own sexuality or body is normal or not. We get a lot of questions here that are about really basic stuff that ought to be taught in schools but that unfortunately isn't. Variance is the norm in human sexuality. It's more meaningful to ask questions like: is this safe? Is this consensual? Is this mutually pleasurable? There are a lot of great resources for this, including scarleteen and go ask alice. You may also find relevant information with a search of /r/sex or in our FAQ. If you feel like your question is more complicated or will be a topic for thoughtful discussion, please message the moderators so that we can restore your post. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Dude a woman asking genuine questions up here can get absolutely brutal responses and messages, so I definitely see where she is coming from. Men say they don't like the misconceptions that they are always wanting sex and ready to go in an instant, but then (some) turn around and say you must be hideous and obese if your man doesn't want sex 25/7. Make it make sense?♀️
First, were you sufficiently wet (or using lube) during penetration? Second, if he is on the larger side you might need to “work up” to full penetration. Start with one, then two fingers. If you want or need, move up to a third finger. Always, if you have a concern, seek the advice of a gyn.
Yup, I get that too! Between labia majora and minora, underneath my clitoral hood, underneath my clit, just everywhere. It's normal, get used to it. Before sexy times, I just wipe myself clean with fingers/tissue so my partner doesn't have to touch it with his mouth or fingers lol. It's all good. When you shower, only use soap on the parts of the vulva with hair, btw (because of sweat glands). On the hairless areas, just get in there with warm water and your fingers. It helps keep any smell down, I notice.
I’m really sorry that happened to you, it definitely sounds like you may have been sexually assaulted. You don’t owe him anything and should absolutely cut him off. In terms of him doing something bad to you, are you worried about him finding you and harming you? Are you worried about him blackmailing you and outing you because he knows what you look like? If he does start to make threats to find you, or show up at your house, the best move is to call the police. In terms of blackmail, it still may be difficult for him to do if he doesn’t have pictures of your face, and even if he does have your full name you can deny it. Odds are he won’t do either of these things, but that’s not to say it’s not a possibility! I’d also recommend seeking therapy if it’s something you have access to. And hang in there, this wasn’t your fault. You shouldn’t have to feel afraid that saying no to sex will have consequences
I had sex for the first time since my ex tonight. I’ve been on a kind of “quit your job” vacation since November (which is part of the reason we broke up), but tonight, finally, I was ready to jump into bed with someone new! We also did anal, which isn’t necessarily a first for me, but it usually takes a little bit more time for me to be comfortable with that. Not tonight, apparently!
I agree. Start with spanking, but look up online where/how to spank. Certain parts of the butt are safe to hit relatively hard and have it feel good as well, other not so much. You two could start with a leather cat o nine tails, which while it looks scary, actually is very gentle compared to the hand and much easier to manipulate in my experience (spanking takes a certain amount of practice to do right).
We’ve been married 40 years. Our sex life has never been better (just like newlyweds). I went thru menopause and started getting hormone replacement and libido went up drastically. I think everyone goes thru a phase where sex isn’t a priority just because you’re just trying to get thru each day especially if you have kids, activities, work, etc. just know it gets better. Open communication with your spouse if things don’t seem to be working is key to the relationship!
My wife’s favorite thing in the world is sensual touch and it works for foreplay or just as intimate cuddling. Have your boyfriend spent 10-15 minutes just tracing his fingertips up, down and all over your body. The lighter the touch the better.
I'll throw in my two cents here. I see a lot of people saying you were snooping or looking for a problem, but if you're being honest in your post, it sounds like you stumbled upon this my accident, so I don't see why you'd be at fault. As for the porn, I think your boyfriend does have a problem. I say that because it honestly sounds like me. I've been in committed relationship for almost 8 years (minus a couple years in high school where we were broken up but still closer than friends blah blah blah). I've consumed porn since I was probably 11. I've gone through phases where I don't use it for a month or two and phases where I've done it multiple times per day. My case is a little different, as my girlfriend expressed to be earlier in our relationship that she didn't like me watching porn. I didn't agree with this, so I still did it, but I did it on my own time to try and spare her from thinking of it. Not the best solution, but we didn't have any issues. At some point I realized I had a problem. I had lists in my notes app full of links to thirst traps on tik tok that I kept coming back to to get off to. I had lists of reddit accounts and subreddits to go back to. I bookmarked posts on Twitter to come back to. I would pretend to go to the bathroom so I get get off to porn. The worst part was when I would be looking at porn on Twitter with my girlfriend in the room, literally feet away. I knew it was bad and I felt guilty, but I kept doing it for a long time. I'm happy to say I don't do any of that anymore, I don't watch porn at all in any form actually. What I was doing was beyond just watching porn and it was unhealthy. It sounds to me like your boyfriend has a similar issue. Saving thousands of images of porn to his camera roll isn't normal. Looking at porn right next to you and right before sex aren't healthy behaviors. I don't know how to talk to him about it honestly and this is just my experience and my opinion. But if this is a deal breaker for you, then you should probably talk to him about it somehow
This does nothing for me, when guys do it it makes me think they've just learned sex from porn. In my personal experience this move has been pulled out during bad/boring sex that I've got nothing out of
He could also be distant because the sex reminded him of something he had with his ex and ending a relationship takes alot longer for men than women thing.
But yet I see many women out here having kids with loser men who abuse them and dont give a fuck about them. At least I want to be a father and I want to provide, I will remain loyal to her. I just cant get a girlfriend the legit way because My social skills have always been pretty poor, im too introverted/quiet and im a fucking nerd. I wish that I could get a woman who will want to start a family with me the legit way but I just cant
You wouldn't always see it. There are contagious periods without visibility, and in some cases they are the most contagious time. Literally the only way to ever know is to just get tested, it's really not a big deal. 99% chance your fine, all I'm saying that is biologically possible, not like when someone says they got it from a toilet seat. If your worried get a test. If your ashamed order it online if you have to.
Like some people have said, I would recommend getting good with your fingers and mouth. I don't have a small penis, but sometimes I don't last very long (sub 30 seconds) so I try to make sure my partner finishes before I even start, that way everyone is satisfied in the end. With that said though, how she said this to you is important in my opinion. What exactly did she say?
To be honest, I think the only reason I have stayed in this relationship is for our child. I never got to see both my parents together in a loving household and I want my child to experience that so bad.
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Your post has been automatically removed because it appears to be asking if some aspect of someone else's or your own sexuality or body is normal or not. We get a lot of questions here that are about really basic stuff that ought to be taught in schools but that unfortunately isn't. Variance is the norm in human sexuality. It's more meaningful to ask questions like: is this safe? Is this consensual? Is this mutually pleasurable? There are a lot of great resources for this, including scarleteen and go ask alice. You may also find relevant information with a search of /r/sex or in our FAQ. If you feel like your question is more complicated or will be a topic for thoughtful discussion, please message the moderators so that we can restore your post. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Oh that’s so interesting. Where I am from most of the intimate area washes are scented. Makes a lot of sense in your case then.
Dude a woman asking genuine questions up here can get absolutely brutal responses and messages, so I definitely see where she is coming from. Men say they don't like the misconceptions that they are always wanting sex and ready to go in an instant, but then (some) turn around and say you must be hideous and obese if your man doesn't want sex 25/7. Make it make sense?♀️
I been with my wife for 7 years total . Not counting her period week . But she only made me finish a handful of times and she is the best I ever had.
First, were you sufficiently wet (or using lube) during penetration? Second, if he is on the larger side you might need to “work up” to full penetration. Start with one, then two fingers. If you want or need, move up to a third finger. Always, if you have a concern, seek the advice of a gyn.
Yup, I get that too! Between labia majora and minora, underneath my clitoral hood, underneath my clit, just everywhere. It's normal, get used to it. Before sexy times, I just wipe myself clean with fingers/tissue so my partner doesn't have to touch it with his mouth or fingers lol. It's all good. When you shower, only use soap on the parts of the vulva with hair, btw (because of sweat glands). On the hairless areas, just get in there with warm water and your fingers. It helps keep any smell down, I notice.
I’m really sorry that happened to you, it definitely sounds like you may have been sexually assaulted. You don’t owe him anything and should absolutely cut him off. In terms of him doing something bad to you, are you worried about him finding you and harming you? Are you worried about him blackmailing you and outing you because he knows what you look like? If he does start to make threats to find you, or show up at your house, the best move is to call the police. In terms of blackmail, it still may be difficult for him to do if he doesn’t have pictures of your face, and even if he does have your full name you can deny it. Odds are he won’t do either of these things, but that’s not to say it’s not a possibility! I’d also recommend seeking therapy if it’s something you have access to. And hang in there, this wasn’t your fault. You shouldn’t have to feel afraid that saying no to sex will have consequences
Everything is power and ego to the type of men who do shit like that.
I had sex for the first time since my ex tonight. I’ve been on a kind of “quit your job” vacation since November (which is part of the reason we broke up), but tonight, finally, I was ready to jump into bed with someone new! We also did anal, which isn’t necessarily a first for me, but it usually takes a little bit more time for me to be comfortable with that. Not tonight, apparently!
I agree. Start with spanking, but look up online where/how to spank. Certain parts of the butt are safe to hit relatively hard and have it feel good as well, other not so much. You two could start with a leather cat o nine tails, which while it looks scary, actually is very gentle compared to the hand and much easier to manipulate in my experience (spanking takes a certain amount of practice to do right).
We’ve been married 40 years. Our sex life has never been better (just like newlyweds). I went thru menopause and started getting hormone replacement and libido went up drastically. I think everyone goes thru a phase where sex isn’t a priority just because you’re just trying to get thru each day especially if you have kids, activities, work, etc. just know it gets better. Open communication with your spouse if things don’t seem to be working is key to the relationship!
Honestly when they say that I think the undertone is that they want to be dominated in some way
My wife’s favorite thing in the world is sensual touch and it works for foreplay or just as intimate cuddling. Have your boyfriend spent 10-15 minutes just tracing his fingertips up, down and all over your body. The lighter the touch the better.
It’s normal. Happened to me first couple times I tried having sex.
I'll throw in my two cents here. I see a lot of people saying you were snooping or looking for a problem, but if you're being honest in your post, it sounds like you stumbled upon this my accident, so I don't see why you'd be at fault. As for the porn, I think your boyfriend does have a problem. I say that because it honestly sounds like me. I've been in committed relationship for almost 8 years (minus a couple years in high school where we were broken up but still closer than friends blah blah blah). I've consumed porn since I was probably 11. I've gone through phases where I don't use it for a month or two and phases where I've done it multiple times per day. My case is a little different, as my girlfriend expressed to be earlier in our relationship that she didn't like me watching porn. I didn't agree with this, so I still did it, but I did it on my own time to try and spare her from thinking of it. Not the best solution, but we didn't have any issues. At some point I realized I had a problem. I had lists in my notes app full of links to thirst traps on tik tok that I kept coming back to to get off to. I had lists of reddit accounts and subreddits to go back to. I bookmarked posts on Twitter to come back to. I would pretend to go to the bathroom so I get get off to porn. The worst part was when I would be looking at porn on Twitter with my girlfriend in the room, literally feet away. I knew it was bad and I felt guilty, but I kept doing it for a long time. I'm happy to say I don't do any of that anymore, I don't watch porn at all in any form actually. What I was doing was beyond just watching porn and it was unhealthy. It sounds to me like your boyfriend has a similar issue. Saving thousands of images of porn to his camera roll isn't normal. Looking at porn right next to you and right before sex aren't healthy behaviors. I don't know how to talk to him about it honestly and this is just my experience and my opinion. But if this is a deal breaker for you, then you should probably talk to him about it somehow
This does nothing for me, when guys do it it makes me think they've just learned sex from porn. In my personal experience this move has been pulled out during bad/boring sex that I've got nothing out of
He could also be distant because the sex reminded him of something he had with his ex and ending a relationship takes alot longer for men than women thing.
Go to him and whisper in your most sexy and seductiv voice make the dishes
But yet I see many women out here having kids with loser men who abuse them and dont give a fuck about them. At least I want to be a father and I want to provide, I will remain loyal to her. I just cant get a girlfriend the legit way because My social skills have always been pretty poor, im too introverted/quiet and im a fucking nerd. I wish that I could get a woman who will want to start a family with me the legit way but I just cant
You wouldn't always see it. There are contagious periods without visibility, and in some cases they are the most contagious time. Literally the only way to ever know is to just get tested, it's really not a big deal. 99% chance your fine, all I'm saying that is biologically possible, not like when someone says they got it from a toilet seat. If your worried get a test. If your ashamed order it online if you have to.
Like some people have said, I would recommend getting good with your fingers and mouth. I don't have a small penis, but sometimes I don't last very long (sub 30 seconds) so I try to make sure my partner finishes before I even start, that way everyone is satisfied in the end. With that said though, how she said this to you is important in my opinion. What exactly did she say?
To be honest, I think the only reason I have stayed in this relationship is for our child. I never got to see both my parents together in a loving household and I want my child to experience that so bad.