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  1. This is going to be blunt and I’m sure I’ll be downvoted. Why would you refuse to be friends without the pressure of dating to get to know her better? This can be extremely off putting in so many ways. She was being a rational adult by saying that she wanted a relationship with no expectations. People tend to build up weird ideas in their heads of who a person or or what they want them to be. She was asking to be free of these ideas that people create in order to get to know you well enough. It sounds like you’re more interested in dating someone to fulfill an idea you have in your head of an ideal relationship. This is already getting off on the wrong foot because you’re setting yourself and your relationships up to fail. Yes you are allowed to have preferences, yes you are allowed to want monogamy, yes you are allowed to want to get married, have kids etc. However you aren’t allowed to tell a woman she isn’t worth getting to know as a friend because she won’t officially date you right out of the gate. I feel like you need to explore “attachment styles” and childhood trauma. It sounds like you have an unhealthy attachment style. As well as an unhealthy idea of a relationship. I am not saying any of this to make you feel bad. I am saying this because it seems as though you really have never heard any of this before

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