I’m surprised that you aren’t angrier with your respective mothers. They come across as control freaks. You should be out there fighting for your rights as adults.
You repeat the title of this post followed by the first paragraph. He doesn't need to understand. He just needs to do it. Then you can think about reasoning. By the way it's the most normal thing in the world. Touching the breasts is kinda sexual and I wouldn't want to be touched in this way immediately either. I need some warming up to. Kissing, stroking… He probably feels a little insecure about it, because he thinks he might have done something you hate. Maybe tell him it's just something you would prefer but that he doesn't need to bad or guilty because he did it before.
|have a right to feel hurt and betrayed by this after so many years or am I just being a dickhead that’s caught up in my own mind? OPINION: It is all in your own mind, it's perception. Believe we all try myriad different efforts just in the course of dating and many more while continuously building a twenty year marriage. The biggest diffence being while we are maintaining/building there may/could be any number of things we'd done before we wouldn't again. What IS absolutely true is that right before your discovery both of you were well satisfied. Can you make a stink about it? No one is stopping you but you. But you have to prepare yourself mentally for the possible outcomes. What if you demand? Is it fair then for her to demand? What if it rapidly gets out of hand and she wants to add more ppl? Just consider if this is the hill you are willing to die on. Right now, everything is working. I assume that you discovered, in front of her. Then or immediately after should have been your cue to discuss privately with her NOT seeking answers amongst cyber strangers. Before you blow the doors off what is/has/should be good you do need to figure out what you're willing to let in when you are forcing this into your relationship. No right or wrong just think before you do discuss. Hoping the best for you!
Attentive to your needs Wants to please you In-tune with your body, body language, and verbal feedback Makes your pleasure a priority Genuinely enjoys pleasing you
Dealbreakers are too individual for anything anyone else says to be useful for you. What I might consider absolutely unacceptable someone else will think is no big deal. On the other hand, if you’re asking so you can say, “Other people think I’m right”, you’re already in trouble. I will say you should never say never about most things. I’ve had relationships with several women over the years who told me they would never do anal, or never do CIM, or never swallow because of X, Y or Z. I always said OK and dropped it. With one exception, every single one of them eventually suggested we try whatever they had refused to do. With one exception of those that tried it, they decided they liked it and wanted to keep doing it. Partners are like cooks, each bringing their own nuance and technique. Two people can do the same thing very differently, with one being horrible and the other being amazing. You may eventually decide to try and find you were right or wrong. As they say in those commercials, “Past performance is no indication of future success.” That’s especially true when other people are involved.
Reddit threads are not real life. The Reddit meme of “men aren’t complimented enough!” could exist for a variety of reason. First: Almost always the people saying it mean “women don’t compliment men enough.” Which should be understandable: if a woman so much as smiles at dude she doesn’t know it can turn either awkward or dangerous very quickly. Secondly, dudes online who say “men don’t get complimented enough” are a self-selected group. As a whole they seem less socially competent than most regular people. Third: dudes should be the change they want to see in the world and compliment each other instead of using this supposed thing as a way to bag on women.
Them?
r/suddenlygay
I’m surprised that you aren’t angrier with your respective mothers. They come across as control freaks. You should be out there fighting for your rights as adults.
You repeat the title of this post followed by the first paragraph. He doesn't need to understand. He just needs to do it. Then you can think about reasoning. By the way it's the most normal thing in the world. Touching the breasts is kinda sexual and I wouldn't want to be touched in this way immediately either. I need some warming up to. Kissing, stroking… He probably feels a little insecure about it, because he thinks he might have done something you hate. Maybe tell him it's just something you would prefer but that he doesn't need to bad or guilty because he did it before.
|have a right to feel hurt and betrayed by this after so many years or am I just being a dickhead that’s caught up in my own mind? OPINION: It is all in your own mind, it's perception. Believe we all try myriad different efforts just in the course of dating and many more while continuously building a twenty year marriage. The biggest diffence being while we are maintaining/building there may/could be any number of things we'd done before we wouldn't again. What IS absolutely true is that right before your discovery both of you were well satisfied. Can you make a stink about it? No one is stopping you but you. But you have to prepare yourself mentally for the possible outcomes. What if you demand? Is it fair then for her to demand? What if it rapidly gets out of hand and she wants to add more ppl? Just consider if this is the hill you are willing to die on. Right now, everything is working. I assume that you discovered, in front of her. Then or immediately after should have been your cue to discuss privately with her NOT seeking answers amongst cyber strangers. Before you blow the doors off what is/has/should be good you do need to figure out what you're willing to let in when you are forcing this into your relationship. No right or wrong just think before you do discuss. Hoping the best for you!
Attentive to your needs Wants to please you In-tune with your body, body language, and verbal feedback Makes your pleasure a priority Genuinely enjoys pleasing you
Dealbreakers are too individual for anything anyone else says to be useful for you. What I might consider absolutely unacceptable someone else will think is no big deal. On the other hand, if you’re asking so you can say, “Other people think I’m right”, you’re already in trouble. I will say you should never say never about most things. I’ve had relationships with several women over the years who told me they would never do anal, or never do CIM, or never swallow because of X, Y or Z. I always said OK and dropped it. With one exception, every single one of them eventually suggested we try whatever they had refused to do. With one exception of those that tried it, they decided they liked it and wanted to keep doing it. Partners are like cooks, each bringing their own nuance and technique. Two people can do the same thing very differently, with one being horrible and the other being amazing. You may eventually decide to try and find you were right or wrong. As they say in those commercials, “Past performance is no indication of future success.” That’s especially true when other people are involved.
Just go to the sex store and get some velcro cuffs. They're simple and easy for beginners.
Are you looking for advice?
Reddit threads are not real life. The Reddit meme of “men aren’t complimented enough!” could exist for a variety of reason. First: Almost always the people saying it mean “women don’t compliment men enough.” Which should be understandable: if a woman so much as smiles at dude she doesn’t know it can turn either awkward or dangerous very quickly. Secondly, dudes online who say “men don’t get complimented enough” are a self-selected group. As a whole they seem less socially competent than most regular people. Third: dudes should be the change they want to see in the world and compliment each other instead of using this supposed thing as a way to bag on women.