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  1. I want you to buy the book “Come as you are“ by Emily Nagoski. Very helpful for understanding desire and how to increase her desire for sex (if she is interested in this). The book goes into more detail about this but she might have whats called “Responsive Desire”… which means she can def get in the mood when she isnt tired from work, youve helped out around the house, youve had lots of foreplay (foreplay beginning not just when you want to have sex but having sexy talk/texting through out the day), youve made a nice dinner or made her laugh, youve taken care of the kids—- basically you have nurtured an environment where she feels free and un encumbered by lifes worries. It can be hard if you have Responsive Desire to feel immediately sexual when your mind is on other things. I would highly suggets you reading that book or at least check out the wiki page and reviews because it coukd really help especially since you mention she is demisexual! Please check it out (Also importantly: desire is not a math problem, it is not mix and stir and you get the prize which in this case for you might be PIV sex…no! you are nurturing a container in which desire MAY flourish there are no guarantees but it may be more like to happen when she feels less oressure to do it spontaneously. Good luck

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