Remember “me too”? Someone gets raped and they are asked what they were wearing. If they are lucky enough to have a trial, it's considered legitimate to ask why they were at that party, etc, instead of “did you consent” or “did you withdraw consent”. Go to r/relationshipAdvice and related subs and see all the questions where women are asking about situations where their partner can't deal with the fact that they had sex before, or had sex with a bunch of people before. “By who?” Parents, other influential adults, romantic movies, the messages are everywhere. Have you heard of the “madonna/whore complex”? That's still a thing.
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Try taking a beta blocker before. I take it for work sometimes, but also helps with the first hookup anxiety. Also, it helps to slow your mind down and focus on what you’re doing to the person and how they’re responding. For example, when your tongue first touched his shaft, did he react? Did you feel it twitch in your mouth or grow in your hands? Pay attention to yourself too. Notice how your body feels when you’re going down on him. Does it turn you on? Hopefully that helps ease things up. Also, speaking as a man, I’m sure he was just stoked to be getting a blowjob from you.
2 hours is insanely long. Normally a session shouldn't go for more than 20 minutes on the long side. I know it's new for you and you're still discovering your body but don't overdo it I guess
Always awkward getting things going Definitely gets better the second time around with a third though The best is doing things that can only be done in an mmf
Nobody said that he is the bad guy for not wanting to have sex? That's not what the comment you replied to said. They simply said OP deserves better. Why do you think it's such a problem to tell someone they deserve a partner who isn't going to treat them poorly?
We do, but to each their own. Maybe he's too conscious about the neighbours, or family if they live together, etc… Or he just needs to understand that every woman expresses her pleasure differently…
I did read it, and you could've just Googled it to find out it's a common issue. Even now being aware it's a common issue, you are still making comments suggesting you disbelieve her. Like how the “timing is suspicious” and how you “only last 2 minutes” so it shouldn't be a big deal.
No, not really into that and neither is she. She likes when I finish in her and the post nut cuddle holding one another is just great. Personally for me we feel so connected and just sitting inside her with our naked bodies against one another. Now sometimes this does lead to round two or maybe just getting her off again but most of the time it’s just us holding one another after climax as one married body.
It's awkward, but things like that just happen. Either he didn't see or notice anything, in which case there's nothing to talk about. Or he did. And I guess you could have a conversation about privacy, and asking permission or waiting before barging into your private space – but chances are he would have already learned that lesson already. Personally, I'd just not mention it, unless it happens again.
So from a Guy's perspective… First off, you're not at blame, unfortunately your husband is releasing too quickly. My suggestion is to give him less upfront stimulation, have him give you oral attention first, then when you feel wet, relaxed and ready, ride him. Get on top of him, reduce the penetrative sex and focus on the pressure. Specifically, find your clit, place his penis head against your clit and ride it as you see fit. With the above mention, my wife is also to come 1 to 3 times, it depends on her and where she is within her cycle as to how hormonal she is, but she always cums at least once. Also, there is nothing at all wrong with getting a toy! Find a vibrator that suites you and use it with him. Remember, it's all about the pressure and not the penetration. From what I've learned from my wife, she likes pressure, where as me being a guy, I like penetration. Good luck.
I feel you dude. My FWB and I have drifted apart for exactly this difference in warm up time. She’ll initiate vocally, I know she likes a lot of kissing and make out before even receiving oral. Last time after maybe ten minutes of kissing how she likes, around the neck, light biting, etc, I started to go down to give her oral. Told me “kiss me more first” so I did but man what a drag. My feelings went from “lemme ravage you for your pleasure” to “I guess I’ll just follow instructions”. Instantly felt like work. I love giving oral, and will tend to do that longer than actual penetration. I realized that her and I are just not a sexual match since I was going through the motions to do the things she liked and it wasn’t us just both enjoying each other naturally.
I would be really turned off by that and not able to stay in a relationship who doesn't take care of his hygiene. He's only going to want to change if he wants.
The fear of an unfair situation and nearly 2 decades of child support is real. ESPECIALLY if you dont want a relationship with this person. It may feel bad to not be trusted, but im sure he's heard horror stories of other people making such a mistake and is just doing his due diligence
Yesterday my partner surprised me by coming over after work. He wasn't going to come over yesterday, but he got off work early so he let himself in (he has a key). I was surprised and still naked after my shower. Got him in the bedroom and onto the bed. I initiated sex, by straddling his clothed body with my naked one, and slowly grinding on him while kissing him. I used my body to make him want me (not that difficult….he already wants me), and my hips grinding on him showed him how much I wanted him. Sex was successfully initiated.
You're not an asshole. You should not feel the need to apologize to anyone for your dating preferences. You like what you like. It's none of their business. In other words, fuck em.
It is a last resort, but bear in mind that there is a pretty big situation going on and he is doing NOTHING to fix it. That says a lot about his character and the importance of your feelings in the relationship.
Maybe I should just flat out say ” baby, I cannot fuck to this dude singing about his own sexual fantasies” ^There's your answer. All good sex is built on communication. You want something, you have to tell your partner directly.
No one mentions just going to your farcking Dr like I did and asking your Dr for Cialis, fuck viagra. Cialis helps you get hard and stay hard when aroused and stays in your system for 48hrs. I've several hour long unforgettable sex because of them. Sometimescan randomly make it hard to…. finish, but if you want to stay hard and make your partners legs shake then it's still worth it. (I am extremely lean, almost zero fat content which can cause hormonal imbalances and ED for those who want to know why a guy in his mid-late 20s is taking pills or recommending them.)
Night surprise sex is wonderful. My dude does it to me? My question is what is the mental block? Why is it an issue? Can you not accommodate what he doesn't like too? It's not just what you like or want. It has to be about him too.
Is your healthy diet well balanced? Working out a lot can deplete a lot of the minerals that keep libido buoyant. Zinc in particular, are you eating plenty of shellfish or seafood?
Your virginity has nothing to do with her sexual past, and it'd be a shame to let this negatively impact an otherwise good relationship. In life you'll always meet people who've done more or other things than you
I agree with the majority of comments stating it wouldn’t pass in court as rape, although, the amount of coercion involved when the guy was shushing you is enough for the right lawyer in the right courtroom to make a case for something whether that’s rape, sexual assault, or sexual battery.
What made you feel this way? Was it that bad? Did he do something inappropriate or boundary crossing? Was it just boring? I'm not asking to be prurient, it's just hard to offer advice without understanding what caused the issue.
You are walking a dangerous path. It's perfectly fine to have preferences but they shouldn't be the thing you only desire. I believe from what you've said, this might stem from the fact that you perceive yourself bad at PiV. You should try helping yourself get better at it as that is easily improved on. Having said all of that though, I don't think it is wrong to communicate your desires and see if a compromise could be reached.
Remember “me too”? Someone gets raped and they are asked what they were wearing. If they are lucky enough to have a trial, it's considered legitimate to ask why they were at that party, etc, instead of “did you consent” or “did you withdraw consent”. Go to r/relationshipAdvice and related subs and see all the questions where women are asking about situations where their partner can't deal with the fact that they had sex before, or had sex with a bunch of people before. “By who?” Parents, other influential adults, romantic movies, the messages are everywhere. Have you heard of the “madonna/whore complex”? That's still a thing.
I already have a therapist but Its this side of my amxiety I don’t want to talk about
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Lemonade
No.
Try taking a beta blocker before. I take it for work sometimes, but also helps with the first hookup anxiety. Also, it helps to slow your mind down and focus on what you’re doing to the person and how they’re responding. For example, when your tongue first touched his shaft, did he react? Did you feel it twitch in your mouth or grow in your hands? Pay attention to yourself too. Notice how your body feels when you’re going down on him. Does it turn you on? Hopefully that helps ease things up. Also, speaking as a man, I’m sure he was just stoked to be getting a blowjob from you.
2 hours is insanely long. Normally a session shouldn't go for more than 20 minutes on the long side. I know it's new for you and you're still discovering your body but don't overdo it I guess
Walk through a carwash in my birthday suit. Gotta get that undercarriage clean.
This is like asking why bother cuddling when you could just kiss or hold hands. It's a different, an IMO deeper, type of intimacy.
Always awkward getting things going Definitely gets better the second time around with a third though The best is doing things that can only be done in an mmf
Nobody said that he is the bad guy for not wanting to have sex? That's not what the comment you replied to said. They simply said OP deserves better. Why do you think it's such a problem to tell someone they deserve a partner who isn't going to treat them poorly?
Many people dont feel blowjobs and if they do mostly dont cum
We do, but to each their own. Maybe he's too conscious about the neighbours, or family if they live together, etc… Or he just needs to understand that every woman expresses her pleasure differently…
Bullet vibrators are always fun
I mean like I want to straight up tell him I'm never got to be in the mood again. I don't know if I'm overreacting tho.
I did read it, and you could've just Googled it to find out it's a common issue. Even now being aware it's a common issue, you are still making comments suggesting you disbelieve her. Like how the “timing is suspicious” and how you “only last 2 minutes” so it shouldn't be a big deal.
Haha welcome to marriage lol
Are you sure this is the right link? This website looks like sone tech site.
I suggest teasing yourself. Don’t let yourself cum so fast.
Get headphones. And just take one of them aside and privately tell them
Guy here. Eye contact and enthusiasm goes a long way. Be playful, ask for feedback, and have fun.
No, not really into that and neither is she. She likes when I finish in her and the post nut cuddle holding one another is just great. Personally for me we feel so connected and just sitting inside her with our naked bodies against one another. Now sometimes this does lead to round two or maybe just getting her off again but most of the time it’s just us holding one another after climax as one married body.
It’s different when your way turned on by being with someone. My hardest orgasms are always with someone, not by myself.
If you’re taking an ssri it could be stopping you.
But there is also a need for truly genuine amateur content… Quite a big one I'd say even.
It's awkward, but things like that just happen. Either he didn't see or notice anything, in which case there's nothing to talk about. Or he did. And I guess you could have a conversation about privacy, and asking permission or waiting before barging into your private space – but chances are he would have already learned that lesson already. Personally, I'd just not mention it, unless it happens again.
So from a Guy's perspective… First off, you're not at blame, unfortunately your husband is releasing too quickly. My suggestion is to give him less upfront stimulation, have him give you oral attention first, then when you feel wet, relaxed and ready, ride him. Get on top of him, reduce the penetrative sex and focus on the pressure. Specifically, find your clit, place his penis head against your clit and ride it as you see fit. With the above mention, my wife is also to come 1 to 3 times, it depends on her and where she is within her cycle as to how hormonal she is, but she always cums at least once. Also, there is nothing at all wrong with getting a toy! Find a vibrator that suites you and use it with him. Remember, it's all about the pressure and not the penetration. From what I've learned from my wife, she likes pressure, where as me being a guy, I like penetration. Good luck.
I feel you dude. My FWB and I have drifted apart for exactly this difference in warm up time. She’ll initiate vocally, I know she likes a lot of kissing and make out before even receiving oral. Last time after maybe ten minutes of kissing how she likes, around the neck, light biting, etc, I started to go down to give her oral. Told me “kiss me more first” so I did but man what a drag. My feelings went from “lemme ravage you for your pleasure” to “I guess I’ll just follow instructions”. Instantly felt like work. I love giving oral, and will tend to do that longer than actual penetration. I realized that her and I are just not a sexual match since I was going through the motions to do the things she liked and it wasn’t us just both enjoying each other naturally.
I would be really turned off by that and not able to stay in a relationship who doesn't take care of his hygiene. He's only going to want to change if he wants.
I'd let them have their privacy – it would be awkward and embarrassing to bring it up.
She is filing a complaint about a sore jaw …. you people and redefining the law from … whatever baby … I be pimping get wet with love
use protection, for both.
The fear of an unfair situation and nearly 2 decades of child support is real. ESPECIALLY if you dont want a relationship with this person. It may feel bad to not be trusted, but im sure he's heard horror stories of other people making such a mistake and is just doing his due diligence
Yesterday my partner surprised me by coming over after work. He wasn't going to come over yesterday, but he got off work early so he let himself in (he has a key). I was surprised and still naked after my shower. Got him in the bedroom and onto the bed. I initiated sex, by straddling his clothed body with my naked one, and slowly grinding on him while kissing him. I used my body to make him want me (not that difficult….he already wants me), and my hips grinding on him showed him how much I wanted him. Sex was successfully initiated.
You're not an asshole. You should not feel the need to apologize to anyone for your dating preferences. You like what you like. It's none of their business. In other words, fuck em.
Your parents have sex still?
We all got pubic hair lets get over it and have sex
It is a last resort, but bear in mind that there is a pretty big situation going on and he is doing NOTHING to fix it. That says a lot about his character and the importance of your feelings in the relationship.
Been with a few larger ladies. And face sitting always worked.
I believe that he does make their lives better just by virtue of the sex they have.
Good point , thx
This, right here, is the correct answer.
You know you’ve had too much when you wake up naked on your bed and you don’t remember going to sleep
I don't think this sounds right to me.
Maybe I should just flat out say ” baby, I cannot fuck to this dude singing about his own sexual fantasies” ^There's your answer. All good sex is built on communication. You want something, you have to tell your partner directly.
No one mentions just going to your farcking Dr like I did and asking your Dr for Cialis, fuck viagra. Cialis helps you get hard and stay hard when aroused and stays in your system for 48hrs. I've several hour long unforgettable sex because of them. Sometimescan randomly make it hard to…. finish, but if you want to stay hard and make your partners legs shake then it's still worth it. (I am extremely lean, almost zero fat content which can cause hormonal imbalances and ED for those who want to know why a guy in his mid-late 20s is taking pills or recommending them.)
Night surprise sex is wonderful. My dude does it to me? My question is what is the mental block? Why is it an issue? Can you not accommodate what he doesn't like too? It's not just what you like or want. It has to be about him too.
Is your healthy diet well balanced? Working out a lot can deplete a lot of the minerals that keep libido buoyant. Zinc in particular, are you eating plenty of shellfish or seafood?
It was a Fast Times joke that was meant for old people. Personally my wife and I love deep house music.
Yes.
Your virginity has nothing to do with her sexual past, and it'd be a shame to let this negatively impact an otherwise good relationship. In life you'll always meet people who've done more or other things than you
I agree with the majority of comments stating it wouldn’t pass in court as rape, although, the amount of coercion involved when the guy was shushing you is enough for the right lawyer in the right courtroom to make a case for something whether that’s rape, sexual assault, or sexual battery.
What made you feel this way? Was it that bad? Did he do something inappropriate or boundary crossing? Was it just boring? I'm not asking to be prurient, it's just hard to offer advice without understanding what caused the issue.
It is weird. Shaving or lasering should be your choice.
You are walking a dangerous path. It's perfectly fine to have preferences but they shouldn't be the thing you only desire. I believe from what you've said, this might stem from the fact that you perceive yourself bad at PiV. You should try helping yourself get better at it as that is easily improved on. Having said all of that though, I don't think it is wrong to communicate your desires and see if a compromise could be reached.
honestly if I was told I was such a good kisser that I made someone have that reaction I'd be walking on air.
Never ask a question if you can’t accept the answer. And girls, never answer that question honestly, always lie and be positive
It works fine with condoms NOT made of latex, others are fine