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Take your debit card to the bank. Use it to extract some cash. Take that cash over to the sex shop and buy some lube. If there is no sex shop, go get some coconut oil.
Women are always self-conscious about it, but it always looks great.
We don't live together which feels wrong to me if she using it when I'm not around. Why? This is not a childish question by the way, it's important to understand why you feel this way. What feels wrong about her using a toy if you live together? We are both new to this why would we just jump to a toy? It's perfectly ok to be new to things. Take it from an old man (born 1981) – toys are fun, toys are your ally in pleasuring your girlfriend/wife/etc. — not your enemy. Embrace it, and you'll see a whole new world of pleasure open up, for both of you!
Well, if you want others to see you that way, then behave the way the society expects of a heterosexual. Vewing all humans as the same, sexually as well, is in conflict with heterosexuality.