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  1. Is your guy from a culture that considers women “unclean” during their period or something? cause his behavior seems extreme. Some guys are down for period sex, some aren’t. I even feel a bit weird doing penetration during my period so I won’t fault them for that personally. Just don’t act super grossed out by it. I figure if I have my panties on or a tampon or cup to catch the blood then external stuff is blood free. But if he won’t touch you at all and makes a big deal about it being gross then he’s immature. He really won’t kiss you or touch your boobs even? That’s messed up. You probably won’t be able to change his mind, just dump him.

  2. I have not used the same logic because I can’t relate. I love oral but I know there’s people out there who don’t, I try to be open and not make them feel bad for not liking it just because I do, but in the end I think it’s most likely a deal breaker i can’t admit fully

  3. Planks, squats, deadlifts, leg press You want to strengthen your core, glutes, and quads as those are what will be doing most of the work while humping away

  4. During foreplay make him come first and then have him give you head and pay attention to you until he is hard again. Depending on his refractory period is how lo g he would need to give you attention.

  5. The more I read your comments, the more I think that you are looking for a solution you already knows but also the one you are trying the hardest to avoid: kicking your boyfriend out of your life. Unfortunately, it seems that's also the only solution as he is precisely the cause. Whatever else you are looking for can only scratch the surface and alleviate some of the symptoms but not the problem. Same thing with another comment you made: lube made sex with him a bit more bearable but hey as long as it's him, it can only be that: barely bearable. Sex would eventually become the sex you used to love again when it's sex-without-him with someone who cares for you truly and makes you feel warm and cared for. I hope you can see a decent therapist. Your insistence to stay in such a disrespectful relationship with a callous man is concerning and may speaks about your lack of self-love more than your love for him.

  6. Normal is whatever you and your partner like doing together. If it feels good and brings you closer that’s all that matters.

  7. I don't feel anything from my prostate, and even if I did, the pleasure men feel from the prostrate is still much weaker than what women feel

  8. Ask With Your Body. You don’t have to use your words to ask for sex. You can do it with your ass instead. The easiest way to show your man that you are very open to getting fucked is to start grinding him during a cuddle session. Do it subtly at first, like you are just shifting your hips to get more comfortable. If he reacts by giving your hips a squeeze, running his hand closer to your inner thighs, or pressing himself against you, then take things further. Arch your back and push against him so he knows exactly what you want. If he responds to that at all, then start grinding. At that point, you would be pretty much dry humping him with your butt. That’s the brightest green light you can give him. All he has to do is keep escalating until you’re doing something a lot more fun than cuddling. If you’re too shy to ask for sex, send signals with your body instead. Move things along slowly and see if he picks up on it. Another way is to Get Things Started Over Text. Texting feels a bit safer and that lets you be yourself. you can text whatever comes to your mind, even if you might hesitate before saying it out loud. You could tell him “I could use a pussy massage, tonight!”. Or you could keep it real simple and text him to meet you in the bedroom. Even shy girls can be bold over text. Use it to your advantage.

  9. No way. My discussions go as far as stating if we did it or not, possibly followed by a high five. My friends don't need to know any details about my partner, especially without her consent to people knowing those things.

  10. Sounds like you guys are sexually incompatible anyways. Like the sex you described doesn't even sound enjoyable for either of you, and you guys are just going through the motions because you dont want to be single and alone again. Maybe im reading it wrong…but really seems like you guys are both just doing your own thing, very disconnected, and just doing it because its your only option for sex at the moment. You should find someone you have more passion for, and actually wants to please you in bed.

  11. Lube, lots of it even if you’re wet, It’ll just help a lot more and since you’re looking for things to try it definitely wouldn’t hurt. Also try slowly dilating like someone earlier recommended. Start from smaller plugs/dildos and work up to something similar to your partners penis.

  12. What about asians? Or armenians? Or people who look like Hagrid but regularly throw tantrums? Basing maturity on hair is primitive and dumb

  13. Agree. She may have developed genuine feelings for him due to him being so open and honest about who he is and what he is going through. To accuse him of grooming is pretty sad 😔 😟.

  14. What do you do to try to arouse her? Have either of you taken tests to determine your love languages? From what you have said, it is very strange for the drastic change in sexual desire for her. I know you said she “doesn't know” the reason for this, but in reality it doesn't just change like that, there has to be a reason. My suggestion would be to communicate openly with her to try to figure out the reason, but it sounds like she is not willing to communicate about this. Clearly, this is a very important subject to YOU, so you need to communicate to her that fact, and that for you things cannot continue as they are because it is putting a lot of emotional stress on you. Whether she feels your need or desire for sex is unreasonable or not, it is important to you so you need to honestly express that. If this is a potential deal breaker for you, you need to express that as well. If you both seem to hit a major roadblock on this issue, you should look into seeing a sexual therapist so she can help diagnose the reasoning behind her sudden decline in sexual appetite. You cannot force her to do this though. The best thing you can do is be open and honest with each other.

  15. I personally would find it really hot and flattering. Maybe he wants you to fuck his girlfriend while he watches and he's unsure how to tell you that. Either way, I wish he was more upfront. Yea it's a little naughty and risky to be having someone so close to home to fuck around with- but if you set some clear boundaries with what works for you- why the fuck not?

  16. My thoughts are she wants a child and not a fulfilling sex life with him, but this is based on my friends who pulled the hoe -> abstinence ->marriage phase. So could be wrong! But I don’t notice sexual urges increasing with age & responsibilities.

  17. A simple suggestion. Set it up so you hold hands, if she gets anxious she can squeeze your hand, if you still want to continue you squeeze back. That way she gets feedback you are fine with how long she is taking.

  18. I’ll be “that guy” I guess.. I’d be very careful about pushing this on a husband who isn’t fully on board. You said his response is that he’s “not sure”. That could easily be husband code for “I don’t want to disappoint my wife”. All the responses here seem to be from the point of view that you should just steam ahead. You better be damn sure that HE is sure before you do this or you’ll damage your relationship.

  19. Don’t over think it. Live out your dreams. Stay close to your SO after and use it as material for future sessions. Lust is lust. Love is love. Keep them separated and go wild

  20. Not necessarily. I've been with the same boyfriend for a long time and initially I enjoyed head a lot. My partner was and still is extremely good at it. However, I recently discovered that PIV in certain positions plus my hand gives me completely earth-shattering orgasms and I stopped enjoying oral that much. It actually gives me anxiety now for reasons I don't know, and I much prefer PIV + my/his hand or toy. There are women out there who never enjoyed it regardless of their partners' skills. I don't think there is a common denominator for all women on Earth.

  21. There are a lot of us out there. It’s true that it’s not the alpha male convention, but in life there is only one way: be yourself. And fuck everyone who doesn’t approve.

  22. I totally agree. Explore it. It might open up so much pleasures for you ! My bf and I explored alot , and all what matters is eachothers pleasures . No judging, anything. I can tell you it will expand your sexlife so much !

  23. Girls always prefer big guys no matter her own measures. It's part of our animal behavior, where bigger means stronger. Survival strategy.

  24. He put stress on himself Because he was immature. he didn’t get me off in 12 years Even an asexual person could get you off a every once in awhile, I refuse to believe anyone could be this inept at anything. I mean in 12 years even you should be able to use him to get off, jc I can't lmao his “inadequacies You meant “our” there. ​ But yeah this clearly not a compatibility issue you guys had, you were just a useless couple.

  25. 🤣🤣🤣 get urself some multi vitamin gummies like the rest of us… need vitamin d, go out side in the sun…

  26. ” He is deaf to me saying emotional closeness must happen before physical.” “We just had a hour and a half talk, and we got nowhere. I tried to communicate that I can't change how my body works, and can't start to be aroused when he doesn't show affection. He won’t do it, he can’t.” “I explained that I need tenderness, and soft touches on “non-sexual” parts of body, and kisses, and being looked at with warmth in eyes. He says he can not do it while he knows I'm frigid and not sexually aroused easily. Says that I want “special treatment” like a queen and want to be coddled. Says I don’t do anything in return (example – dress up only once in a blue moon and usually wearing T shirts). Also word “frigid” feels insulting to me, but he won’t stop saying it because it’s a “medical term”. ​ Your boyfriend is a selfish, entitled, uncaring asshole and you need to dump him and find someone who treats you with dignity and respect.

  27. I mean its probably better to have the conversation before, rather than during. You can try to be gentle, but don't hint be direct. If he isn't mature enough to take reasonable constructive criticism, he isn't mature enough to have sex. However, brushing teeth 3 times a day is a personal decision. Once is good enough for some, but yes twice is recommended. As long as he is brushing daily, or before he tries to mouth you, the three times a day either sounds like exaggeration or an unreasonable expectation. If you still want the sex regardless, maybe try just not doing blowjobs when he isn't clean that might motivate him.

  28. I've a memory foam mattress and cowgirl is one of my favourite positions. I don't bounce up and down, it's a grinding forwards/backwards motion. Push your knees out away from his body, and work those hips! It's all in the hips doing it this way. Try not to move your knees at all. It will feel like you're barely moving but as you develop that technique it should feel awesome. Have him propped up on pillows as well, the incline there can make a difference too. I believe this feels very deep and intimate and it's, in my opinion, the least tiring way to be on top. All in the hips.

  29. This was my experience as well, minus the “hot” part. Not exactly Johnny Depp, but I was in shape and dressed well and got good haircuts, which is like 90% of the game. OP will learn it’s all about how you carry yourself. Not being cocky, but self-assured, experienced, knowing your own worth. Knowing you know how to make her melt. It’s about getting really good at giving pleasure. How to cook a nice meal, pick a good wine, mix a good drink. How to give a good massage, how to touch her beforehand, how to touch her during as well. It’s a game changer for a man’s confidence, and self esteem. And once that part is in place, the casual sex River flows.

  30. That was not the response I was expecting and I admire that about you. Sex and anything sexual in nature has this amazing way of revealing what should be deal breakers in relationships. If you have heard the phrase “equally yolked” then consider that you might not be. Sex requires the most authentic and raw forms of honesty for it to not become cancer in a relationship. In my experience, not being aligned sexually is a massive issue. Some people consider porn to be no big deal but if the other half of a relationship is not into it or against it, it will become a massive thorn in both parties' sides. I also believe finding a way to have loving conversations about these things can be a win for both also. If anything it allows them to walk away peacefully before anything goes sideways. He also has to be man enough to be 100 percent honest with you.

  31. The fantasy could be a thing to. I didn't think of that. Thank you for your comments and ideas. I appreciate it. This is exactly what I was hoping to find from this post

  32. Are these really inconsistent goals? I mean, if you were hunting an elephant, you’d still bring a sandwich to eat while you waited. And hey, maybe some girl will turn out to be Miss Right even though you thought she was just Miss Right Now.

  33. That is the main issue. It's not the first time I have done that, it's not the first time I had hurt our relationship by doing that. But I am aware of that, and I am working on it. He never pushed me into anything, so if I had just said no, he would maybe ask am I sure, and that would be it. Yeah, it seems laying down complete truth seems to be the best choice.

  34. I would say not to tell your new partner that you have done it to another man. That might turn them off hearing that. Ask them if they enjoy it first. If you don't get the chance to have that conversation. I would say to start off slow and easy with it. Maybe while giving a BJ. Go down and give them a lick on the taint. See how they react first. Before going any farther.

  35. They want you to be dominant. It isn't about choking or slapping them, it's about their submissiveness and allowing you to take control.

  36. That's a tough one. Ideally you would need to find something where your interests overlap. And if this is going to work, she should probably have more control over what you all watch. To me, it doesn't sound like it is a worthwhile venture. She seems rather sensitive about your interest and will likely get triggered when you find a woman that you find attractive. Maybe watch The Notebook instead

  37. I’m a nurse and I can tell you that a lot of people don’t wash well. I know one man who refused to get in between his buttocks and wash his perineum because he said it was “gay”. He ended up getting a perirectal abscess and his wife refused to sleep with him.

  38. Maybe in this case it should be? I would like to think I’m horny” = “Let’s have sex” but maybe she needs it spelled out. Or ask her directly what she thinks it means.

  39. Your “of course not” comment here completely contradicts your statement above that. Someone grabbing your unaroused penis can hurt, and is an utter turnoff when unwanted or was not consensually agreed first. Please remember that young inexperienced men read this sub too. People declaring false information like you did as fact affects others very negatively. That wasn't just “a bit too much generalization”. Men are human beings, not sex robots.

  40. Signing away legal rights doesn't absolve men of financial responsibility unless either the mother can afford to willingly 100% support the child or she marries someone who will. If she goes on welfare the state will pretty much send bloodhounds out to get the bio father's money.

  41. i don't have foreskin, but i use regular body wash soap on my glans everyday, sometimes up to 4 times a day… and never had “dehydration”. my glans is always dry just like normal skin.

  42. For a time, had to lower my expectations as far as emotional maturity. This would be things like being able to talk about your feelings comfortably, not having those young people expectations of others reading your mind. But she outgrew those in a few years. Another challenge is that sometimes I feel like she genuinely expects me to know everything. This hasn’t changed. But it’s not a dealbreaker because I’m a bit of a know-it-all. I was worried if I’d be able to sexually keep up once she was in her 30’s and I was in my 40’s. Hasn’t been a problem. We are more matched in sex drive than anyone I’ve been with. The other one is he might be more ready to have kids than you. Might. But this is easy to figure out, it’s just a conversation.

  43. That's not even something you need to bring up, unless a conversation organically gets there. Just wait until you get the chance to do it and let her be pleasantly surprised.

  44. Are you wanting a relationship or just a good time? If you want a relationship I would encourage you to not be in such a hurry. There's no need to rush. If you're 22 and this looking to fall in love, have a family someday, and grow old together, you've got 50, 60, 70 years of perfecting these things. So, how do you perfect them? Have an ongoing open dialogue. Sometimes it is in the midst of intimacy and at other times it is when you're not in it. Ask, “Can you try____?” Or, “Is there something you'd like?” Build trust. Learning to love someone is a process. Sometimes there's an instant connection. But, honestly, that's not the norm. It takes communication and time. You become a student of the other person and you learn and grow and connect over time at the highest and deepest level. Build something that lasts for decades instead of something that lasts until the next guy. I hope this is an encouragement and does not come across as critical. I'm 30 years into this relationship thing and it really is getting better. It's been A LOT of work. But, as we go, we see incredible reasons for why it's worth it.

  45. This honestly. I only want casual hook ups and I am average, nothing spectacular, don’t have a perfect body but I’m down for sex. If you only go after 10s then you’re not going to get as much.

  46. Again that's why I asked for age. If op wants to keep her marriage I believe there are things she could try. I just don't view it as helpful to draw that conclusion based off the evidence in front of us.

  47. I think this is going to be the safest option in your current situation. If she tracks her cycle you can be that little extra safe, but NOT having sex during ovulation. But I’d say you’re doing all you can to prevent it.

  48. What you describe is not all that uncommon in fairness: you experienced a VERY bad situation with your ex and so you find yourself drawn to the opposite kind of man because…well, that’s kind of the point, to not have a repeat of what came before. But by going SO far for the opposite it’s clear that you were “rebounding” from your heartache. Decisions made so soon after a bad experience are always more extreme than ones made after some time and therefore distance to think clearly (remember the first time you had a bad hangover and swore you’d “never drink again”? Yeah, that meted out over time to “I’m never drinking THAT MUCH again”.) The fact is you made a decision based on a knee-jerk self-preservation. You know now what you need from a partner. You need as much of the raw passion your ex had while also being able to be a good long-term partner like your husband. You say you’ve tried to talk to him about it but he hasn’t understood or done it right for you, so it’s time for some sex-focussed relationship counseling. You need to be honest that you need more from him – but be clear that he can draw a line where he wants to (his feelings matter too after all), you just need him to be willing to do some of the things you want. Otherwise, you will have to accept that staying in this marriage means lacklustre sex. If it comes to that, don’t stay. You’ll be miserable and so will he. You need to look for more compatible partners: somewhere out there is a man who can meet at least SOME of your interests and equally a woman out there who will find your husband’s relatively infrequent, simple tastes incredibly enticing, and you both deserve THOSE partners.

  49. You could try doing spooning then flipping over into pronebone while still inside. Then you can slowly move to the edge of the bed and get into doggy style

  50. Hell no… Any uncontrollable reaction to orgasm is kinda hot. As long as you don't laugh when his pants come off, I don't see any issues!

  51. Thank you for your submission to /r/sex. Your post was removed because it appears to be a post seeking a partner for explicit chat or hooking up. These posts are not allowed. If your post was not actually a “personals” post, then feel free to message the moderators and ask that your post be restored. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  52. Bait profile? Your post history is incredibly suspect. This subreddit seems to be rife with these kinds of profiles.

  53. Do you know what pain is and why we feel pain? It is warning our brain that harm to the body is happening. Not all types of pain is harmful or dangerous, though, but one should always make a judgement about if the pain is supposed to be going on and if it's safe to let the pain keep happening. When anal hurts, it is because you are actively damaging your back end, and you should not be okay with it. It is not supposed to hurt. Your friend is right, not because inflicting pain itself is bad, but because inflicing pain when it's not supposed to hurt is a sign something is wrong. Has he no concern for your health at all?

  54. That’s true. I’ve literally never asked a man if he I could rely on him if I ever needed to get an abortion so this is pretty nerve wracking for me, I’m not used to having these types of conversations. But as I get older I’m really learning that these conversations are necessary to have so I want to be able to. I guess I’m nervous about finding out we have different views on this which would be a deal breaker 😶

  55. Yes, that can be completely normal. I would say that bodybuilding is a perfect example of admiration for another person’s features that you may or may not have, even if they’re the same sex. It is a form of envy, but not necessarily in a bad way.

  56. I think Im intelligant or at least have knowledge in a wide range of subjects but im not funny and I lack confidence. Although I would prefer it if a woman was attracted to my looks rather than personality or money

  57. No, if you don’t want sex, you don’t owe it to him. If you’re not comfortable doing anything he’s asking, you don’t owe it to him. But also, if he breaks up with you because he feels unfulfilled, you can’t be mad about that either. You two just might not be in a good spot to be dating each other if your sexual desire is at 0 while his is at 80

  58. I had a gf who claimed she could cum from anal. When we were in doggie she would pull me out and put me in her butt. It wasn't my think but she enjoyed it.

  59. Been with my wife for almost 15 years. Take my advice m…Find someone who cares about your pleasure equally as much, or as little as you care about theirs.

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