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This sounds so incredibly selfish to me! I don’t understand how someone can not be completely turned on by pleasing their partner! I don’t even feel like you should have to ask him to do this for you, like he’s doing you a favor! He has to initiate any type of sexual activity spontaneously or it doesn’t happen? Your feelings are completely valid and I am sorry the person you love is the one making you feel this way! This may need more then just a talk! You deserve more!
Oh his type of behavior is a direct result of a poor sex ed. Schools lacking (I’m looking at you, abstinence programs) send young men to YouTube to learn about sex and dating. In turn, these young men are essentially indoctrinated by losers like Andrew Tate.
The Oxford Dictionary: manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning. He is using psychological methods to manipulate her into feeling guilty. It's not the most severe example of gaslighting, but it fits under this definition.