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When I'm single and dating. Yes. With a caveat. When I establish a relationship. Sort of. If asked how often and more vague questions I'll answer. But nothing specific. The caveat mentioned above is whether I feel like the girl I went on a few dates with and had sex with has relationship potential. If she does, I revert to established relationship talk. If I don't see a future I'm more likely to share details.
Not really. We guys are way more shy than most women seem to think. We usually stick to basic stuff like: how was the date? did you spend the night? bro, do you have any history with that person? If not a variant of these three, there's something we actually want to discuss.
Did you go visit a gynaecologist, not just a GP? Because a GP isn't gonna know shit about what's going on with your vagina beyond urine tests, and 99% of the time won't be the one putting anything up there to find out anything worth while. Also remember that a lot of women struggle to find doctors who take their symptoms and issues seriously. If your GP dismissed you in a way you feel is unjust or rude, find a new one asap. But its important to note, you are actually very anxious about this. Hence the post and your fear of missing out. And the more you worry about it working out, the harder its gonna be in the moment even if you are physically relaxed and not thinking negative thoughts (which can be vaginismus related, but not always, it doesnt have to be that severe). Have you always struggled to put a tampon in? Is it something you tried ages ago, or only recently? Because thats something to mention to the gyno or different GP.
31 year old male in a long term relationship. Good amount of friends in relationships. Literally never.
OMG, The exact same thing happened to me. My ex FWB sent a video of us having sex to my fiance. In that video I was exaggerating my moans and talking real dirty to him because he liked it. My fiance told me the same thing – that he DIED inside. He felt like he would never be a real man and that he never felt more emasculated in his life. And then he told me that he needed to take a break from the relationship. Honestly, I don't know why he seems to be so fixated on that. I know it hurts bad but i didn't expect him to throw away a perfectly good relationship because of that 😭
Personally, I would lead with this, is it were me… Just that sex with your ex needed a lot more energy to make him happy, that sex with your current BF makes you so happy and he's so in tune with you that it's effortless and preferred. And that you DO prefer it 🥰 Good luck OP What a shit show 😔
A negative test from September doesn’t prove anything, sadly. There is a huge time gap and you simply don’t know what happened between the test and now. Just because she says she does X and Y doesn’t mean it’s true. Wait for your test results and act accordingly. I wish you the best.
The quality of sex has always been good. The frequency started at about twice a week, which is more sustainable than my desire for at least once a day. If it had leveled out over time to once a week or so even with both of us initiating, I would be happy.
Well good thing I couldn’t stop jerking off every day till now for that 4th point
Stop forcing your partner into your fantasy, that's abusive.
I'm very glad you are getting out of it/away from him. Again I'm sorry you've had to go through this and learn about this the hard way. I hope you take the time to heal from it and it helps you reduce your fear of being alone. You can become so much stronger by being alone, I know it doesn't feel like it usually with the anxiety. You have been through something so hard and painful now it's time to stand up for yourself and be the amazing individual you are. Unfortunately I went through a similar toxic relationship in my late teens – early 20s that included similar sexual trauma. I still don't alway give the credence it deserves for its impact on me. Please seek help and stay away from him. If you want/need more help or to chat feel free to message me.
Hey. You got this trust yourself. There are a few things you can do.
It’s an ethical issue for me. Like OF is way more ethical than PH or other free sites. Also I subscribe to a few people who do excellent work so I can’t be mad. I think like everything there’s levels. If he’s spending $20-30 bucks a month on subscriptions. Cool. If he’s spending $100+ probably a problem.
This suggests that only people with good attitudes get laid. They don’t. Misogynists, racists, abusers, cheaters, negative people, etc can and do get laid. Terrible people find love. Do you think his attitude is so bad that no one wants to sleep with him? Odds are he’s picky/has a specific type he’s attracted to, but hasn’t found success within said group. What is he to do then? Settle? And be miserable? And waste his time and theirs? Again, some people just don’t find someone. It’s not because they’re these awful, objectively terrible people. Sometimes it’s pickiness, or looks, or just plain old bad luck.
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We used protection! Also I used a boric acid supplement last night which is very useful for curing yeast infections, as a just-in-case / why-not measure – no difference this morning. :\
Fair! There are many of them Ughhhh I can't do dating/hookup apps, honestly. I will say that sex is never a priority for me, so I am content with my own company. I wish my fellow kings could be too. A man who knows his worth is a force to be reckoned with and her gets shit done.
If you don't have any kids, get out of that marriage asap. Not because of BJs thats inconsequential, but because your wife is a selfish, manipulating, piece of shit.
Stop contacting him. He is a jerk.
I’d be perfectly fine with that!
Be honest. Tell her that it's your first time. People less experienced at sex can be awkward, might be embarrassed and often lack technical skills. It'll be much worse for you trying to fake experience than being open and telling her that you're a virgin.
TBF, if she was really drunk, then she WAS raped. Intoxication negates the ability to consent. How drunk was the guy? We don’t know. And none of that whiskey dick shit. I’m a guy and Ive had blackout drunk sex before that I didn’t remember. Luckily only with my wife and she always has my consent. But my dick gets hard no matter how drunk i am. If Two drunk people are having sex and neither can consent because they’re both too drunk, it can’t really be rape.
I love me some hard cock down my throat not to mention his warm cum filling my mouth yummy
It just sounds to me like she wants you to confidently take the lead and tell her exactly what you expect and what you are going to do to her. She sounds like she wants more excitement and manhandling. IMO a woman being very honest with you about what she wants and being very open about it is a woman who trusts you and feels safe in your relationship, so I see it as a sign of deepening intimacy. She may well love having more gentle, emotional sex but also wants to reveal all her moods in bed and feel more uninhibited. Its kind of the dream come true to have a wonderful man who you see as husband material who is also still willing to throw you up against the wall and get very passionate with you when you want it. I think being unexpected, so you give her more of a thrill is very sexy. She does want to feel you are still on the hunt because it brings out other sides in her that she wants to show you. Maybe you have an (unconscious) expectation that a woman who is loving and who you are capable of forming a deep emotional bond with is somehow a different woman than one who likes an exciting sex life. Fulfilling her sexual fantasies will probably feel very exciting to you and give you both great pleasure as well as help you feel much closer to her emotionally because she is giving more of herself to you.
I’ve dealt with this in more than one relationship. I can totally relate to needing to feel desired. And at this point, I would rather be single than have a partner whose libido isn’t at least as high as mine. Bottom line is, a partner like that can really take a toll on your self esteem and even make you sexually shut down ultimately. This is true regardless of how great they are otherwise. People with low libidos typically don’t change, and even if you’re able to work something out, you’ll end up feeling like you’re settling for less than you actually want. You’ll always wonder if they’re doing it to please you rather than because they want it. The hurt and resentment will seep into other aspects of the relationship. IMO it’s just not worth it.
Dump that motherfucker asap?
I think you’re being completely reasonable. I don’t know if you also do it as a signal for him to shower too, but he should unless you tell him it’s not necessary.
Honestly… if I were you, I’d tell him exactly what you’ve just told us. Seems very genuine and is coming from a loving place. I’m sure he would be a open to what you are suggesting
I totally understand. I am the one in the relationship who cleans our house, does all the chores, cooks, grocery shops etc. so I get it!! It can be exhausting to have to “be everything” but not feel appreciated. Have you told her how you feel about this? I just found out voicing myself has paid off big time. I spoke my truth and said what I had to say about it. We really weren’t having sex because I just didn’t find it fun, also had a pretty low sex drive. Once I just opened up and told me husband what I want and like.. sex has now become something fun to do rather than something you think you have to do. Do you guys smoke weed? Not trying to tell you to do drugs lol but it has done wonders to get us out of our heads and just relax and have fun. Ask her also if she may be interested in having sex if there are involved. It’s possible she’s worried about how long it takes her to cum, maybe she can’t cum etc. but she’s too afraid to tell you so she just ends up not wanting to do it. Lots of possibilities that can be opened up with some conversations.
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Have you ever met his parents?? 🤔
Well, I would only hook up with someone who's nice. But your friend's opinion that he's a jerk is meaningless unless they actually have examples of bad things he did or said.
There's absolutely no way this can blow up in OP's face.