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Hi loves im new, please take my innocense (TODAY SPANKS MY ASS 2TKN)
Sounds like they were both terrible partners that ignored what you told them multiple times. Specially the last one, ufffff. Being more vocal before, during, and after will also help in establishing open communication with a partner. And that’s always a good thing.
I agree with my fellow Redditor’s, this ultimatum is silly and maybe stems from a place of insecurity or shame. Toys can be a very healthy part of your sex life. You should try explaining that to her on how you personally feel about them and what a source of positivity they have been for you, and especially, you don’t appreciate her sex shaming.