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1. Now you know what the issue is, you need to get him into therapy for how he can only have sex with women he has no connection with – the fact that the disconnect happens at that point is usually where there is “more to lose” if things go sour with regard to hurt feelings, long-term heartache etc. It basically stems from an issue with intimacy – he's afraid to go “that far” with someone he cares for in case it's either not what he expects, or what his partner expects and you/he get turned off. There is a WONDERFUL episode of the 90s sitcom “Frasier” about this very subject – one character has pined after a woman for years and years, pretty much from the first episode. In series 7 they FINALLY get together but he finds that he resists looking at her in a real way now he can experience her as a person, he just sticks to his memories of her which are ridiculously idealised (you literally say he calls you his “saint” of a girlfriend). The cycle is eventually broken when he is faced with the reality that he is simply afraid that if he sees her as a person as opposed to an ideal, and it's not what he imagined, then he will have “wasted” those years he pined for her, and after he actually has their first time together, he happily announces “you know the best part? It wasn't anything like I imagined it”. Basically your bf has you on a pedestal and is afraid to take you off it and he needs to realise he's actually hurting your relationship and REALLY realise it. I say this as a married man who also had this when my wife and I first started dating. The breakthrough happened the first time we had a disagreement. She could see that I wanted to say more but was holding back and she said “if there's something you want to say to me, say it! I'm not made of glass!” Sure, it was a process and it didn't immediately undo that thought process but after the first baby step where I – shock horror! – expressed something about her that WASN'T utter perfection, it became easier for me to reconcile that it's normal to have things about your partner that drive you crazy at time because you are both human. Now, after 11 years together, 6 of them married, I STILL occasionally have little pangs of guilt when I feel annoyance for something she does like “why are you LOOKING for bad things in her?”, but now I know enough to be able to challenge that thought by saying “I'm not LOOKING for bad things, just acknowledging that she's a person who sometimes says or does the wrong thing just like I do sometimes”. I'm not saying he should suddenly start focusing on all of your worst traits, but acknowledging that sometimes things aren't so perfect might be a starting point.

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2. That sounds amazing don’t get hung up on labels just be yourself

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