I'm a sadist and my wife is a masochist. We negotiate in clear terms the boundaries of what that relationship looks like. She has a safe word to use if she feels I'm going too far past those boundaries, and that safe word is to be respected at all times. If you don't enjoy it, you need to communicate that clearly. If he's hurting you without discussions of limits and safe words, he's not just sadistic, he's an asshole. I can't say why I'm sadistic. I don't like to hurt others around me emotionally or physically. I don't enjoy hurting someone who doesn't enjoy it in return. But the physical act of inflicting pain during a sessions and seeing how aroused she gets from it is a level of catharsis for me that I didn't know existed. Knowing she occasionally has welts or bruises that are reminders of our secret fun–and she loves those marks–is just another firm binding in our relationship. You're clearly not masochistic and that needs to be relayed clearly to your husband. If you're not OK with it, it needs to stop. Good sex sometimes involves negotiating boundaries and clear communication–just like every relationship.
I'm a sadist and my wife is a masochist. We negotiate in clear terms the boundaries of what that relationship looks like. She has a safe word to use if she feels I'm going too far past those boundaries, and that safe word is to be respected at all times. If you don't enjoy it, you need to communicate that clearly. If he's hurting you without discussions of limits and safe words, he's not just sadistic, he's an asshole. I can't say why I'm sadistic. I don't like to hurt others around me emotionally or physically. I don't enjoy hurting someone who doesn't enjoy it in return. But the physical act of inflicting pain during a sessions and seeing how aroused she gets from it is a level of catharsis for me that I didn't know existed. Knowing she occasionally has welts or bruises that are reminders of our secret fun–and she loves those marks–is just another firm binding in our relationship. You're clearly not masochistic and that needs to be relayed clearly to your husband. If you're not OK with it, it needs to stop. Good sex sometimes involves negotiating boundaries and clear communication–just like every relationship.