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I was awake all night thinking about it. I feel like hell. It honestly got to this point because I was very forward about what I wanted, he agreed and then backed out of the plan he suggested. I don't want to keep feeling like this. I literally laid awake wondering if I needed to dye my hair darker like the girls he watches and his ex. If I should straighten my hair like them. If I need to lose weight to look like them. I think everyone is right and I need to just ask.. because you're right. It's destroying me to feel like I can't measure up. It makes me want to just run from him.