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1. Stick to the standard programming when the kids are home, and leave the kinkier stuff for when the kids (or at least the oldest) is with friends/family. I think most kids would have been horrified to hear their parents having loud/agressively/painful sex. If anything, this situation is a good opportunity to do a deep dive into why this is so painful and/or if it's an act that needs to be retired.

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2. in my opinion, no will ever do this to me at all. This made me laugh, because I used to think the exact same line of thought when I was your age. It actually took me almost five years with my husband before he got me there, and 90% of it was a mental block in my head, going “this is taking too long, he must be tired and bored by now, I will never be able to cum” ect. He had to convince me that he was very much enjoying it even though it sometimes went on for 20-30 minutes before I could eventually relax – and then the magic would happen. Its good to keep in mind that we are wired differently than men; our orgasm is extremely mentally related unlike men who most often cums from physical stimulation alone. A few tips that helped: – Communicate, extensively. Have him try different techniques; the alphabet (I LOVE the letter M haha), having his tongue go from side to side or up and down, sucking on your clit, fingering at the same time, figure out what side is more sensitive if any ect. And tell him. Normal, non-selfish guys will always want to make you cum. But women's systems are a machinery of a thousand different parts put together differently in all of us, and he needs you to give him the manual. – Stop worrying or being self conscious about yourself. This is easier said than done, but it helps if you start out by looking at oral as just something that feels good rather than obsessing over the end point of the orgasm as a goal. Let your mind wander, have a glass of wine or a joint if it helps you relax, and just stay present in your body or fantasize about scenarios that turn you on the most. Meditating can help teach your mind to relax. – Take a break from your vibrator if you use any. In my experience, it can desensitize us a little bit to pressure, and thus make it harder for you to cum through oral. Try just using your hands on yourself for a few months. Do not despair! 😉 It will most likely happen during a time where you are not expecting it. Enjoy the ride until it does and dont obsess.

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