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1. we were both naked and touched each other, got closer so I was on top of him, then him on top of me… then we stop. If you're that far along, you are almost definitely going to do it on impulse and regret it, then he will feel like shit for upsetting you. I think if you want no sex, then that means no sex. Sex isn't just penetration, that's a convenient technicality that we've invented. Either you need to stop intimate touch altogether and just hang out clothed as cuddle buddies, or decide what level of sexual touch you are comfortable with that actually results is mutual satisfaction and agree that as a hard boundary. For example, you could satisfy each other with you hands or with oral, but agree that there will be no PIV. But at the moment I think what you're doing is risky, even if someone could argue that it's not cruel because he knows what he's getting into and what the rules are. But he's at your mercy, and the moment you're not being very merciful if for no other reason than for dragging in him into a chain of impulsive decision making that you're going to regret, and making him an accessory to the shame and negativity you will feel as a result. That isn't fair to him.

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