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So, start to do some reading on the Madonna whore complex. Studying societal messaging around womens desire for sex really helped me loose shame. We are relentlessly asked for sex and pride if we don’t give out- but seen as easy and disposable if we give in. Aka there’s no winning. Unpack why you feel bad for enjoying pleasure. If your sleeping with people who respect you as a human beyond this encounter. If you respect yourself in your entirety- including your sexual desires and activities. As I’ve aged- I’ve found more sex positive people. A good book is “the ethical slut”.

i love that the last sentence rhymes drink more water, eat more fruit improve the taste of what you shoot

I’m in a long distance relationship so sexting is an absolute must and I think I’m getting pretty good at it. Starting off is always the hardest but once you’re both in it you get a flow and it’s a lot of fun. Try experimenting with lots of different scenarios e.g. what you’d like to do to them, what you want them to do to you, describe a scene you imagine between you both, or describe what you’re doing to yourself in that moment (i.e. how you’re touching yourself and what you’re thinking about). This can also be supplemented with voice notes/pictures/videos ofc. (As long as there’s consent and trust there).

It’s solely vanity for me and my spouse raises a bit of a fuss when I ask her to trim it down to a few mm. I’d like to be self reliant but when it bugs me enough, she gets the nod. She generally likes my hairiness but never mentions a preference re the back.

I see these comments about toys being an asset all the time but if you're feeling that way, I'd speak to her. You could take it out the bedroom altogether, use it infrequently, etc. My wife has a clit toy, no dildos because we spoke and she wouldn't want me to use a fake pussy. We don't use the toys much atm as they have made her too reliant to cum that way so if my hand gets tired and it's late we get it out. We have an open dialogue about everything on and out the bedroom which makes things easier. I know that if I asked her to get rid of the toy she would, but it is helpful! I used to hate the idea of something else getting her off so I know where you're coming from.

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