You have the right to feel hurt and betrayed. But I have to challenge that root of that betrayal. I get it, my ex had done kinkier stuff than she ever did with me and I really believed her that she didn’t like it, but it still hurt when we were younger. You know what though? It mostly caused me problems because I am pretty kinky and my sexual needs were not actually getting met. I bet if you were really fulfilled, you would not be in crisis over a past bj – you seem pretty secure in yourself and the marriage. So – what else is missing? In what way is your cup not full so that it’s coming out in this fashion?
my partner calls it making love (the intimate, slow, hot and heavy making out type sex), and fucking (holding each other down and just fulfilling primal urges.) there is a time and a place for both.
?? Am I the only one who likes to feel the teeth on my penis? Also I'm surprised you don't feel anything with a condom! In my experience, it adds something more, and puts more pressure on the glans, and my ex-partner loved to overstimulate it!
She keeps telling me she doesn't understand why I'm pissed and that its not a big deal to her so it shouldn't be to me. Lol. I'm worried for our national security.
If you JUST lost your vigrinity it'll hurt you for couple more days, give it a pause and then jump into it again. And as others said, you could potentially use some lube or spit to make it more comfortable if you're not wet enough
Dude just tell her what you like to do, the worst case scenario is you’ll get a NO for an answer and you would never find your self thinking about what if’s…
Yes… but honestly i feel like if she was brave enough to ask you to dance with her, ride the bus together and inviting herself to your place, she should have just asked you out
Your boyfriend 100% knows and 100% doesn't care and probably even likes what you've got. I'm sorry you're getting downvoted for an insecurity you have. That's cruel. Everyone has insecurities and it's not easy to talk someone out of theirs. When I was young, I was the same way about one boob being bigger than the other but as I got more experience, I realized no one actually cares and it's not the big deal I imagined it to be as a young woman. It's true what other people are telling you on here. It's not a big deal to guys, especially someone who is completely invested in you. I hope you are able to get through this and come to love your body but I know it takes time.
Blowjobs are complicated especially when you're still building trust. Our society tells young hetero men that their sexual value is derived from providing women with orgasms using their penis. We're also conditioned to believe that if a woman isn't receiving pleasure, that's selfish. Both of those ideas are reductionist and unhealthy because sex is more complicated than that. If your partner believes he isn't fulfilling his role, it can create stress because he feels like he is letting you down and that mental block could interfere with his ability to enjoy the experience. For me to finally relax enough to enjoy oral (and to finish) I needed to honestly believe on an emotional level that my wife wanted to do this, that she was enjoying it, and that it was all okay. I could rationally understand that she had given consent, she told me she wanted to do it, but I still needed to feel that. It took time and trust building before I was comfortable with it but now it is a regular part of our sexual life that we both cherish. If you want to try to work through this, communicate clearly that you want to do it, that he should relax because this time it's about his pleasure and he can pay it back later, and use enthusiastic sounds a reassurance to let him know you want to be doing what you're doing. That enthusiasm and occasional reassurance (or dirty talk) can work wonders.
here are some tips! • use lots of lube, in your vagina, on his dick, reapply as necessary • either finger yourself or let him finger you first, this helps stretch you out • having an orgasm before pentration helps you relax mentally and physically, which can make it feel better it’ll get better with time, good luck and have fun!
Look at how much thought you're putting into dirty talk right now. Couples talk about what they want in bed, it's not always cringe. In some conversations it will be fine to ask her “What's something you like about my dick?” as a curiosity, and you can tell her something you like about her body if she asks. And she can tell you if she likes the taste/smell/feel etc. If you ask “do you like my dick” that will be insecure. But after sleeping with a woman for a while there has to be a point where you can ask “What's something you like about my dick”, and it's going to be fun. Like during pillow talk.
You have the right to feel hurt and betrayed. But I have to challenge that root of that betrayal. I get it, my ex had done kinkier stuff than she ever did with me and I really believed her that she didn’t like it, but it still hurt when we were younger. You know what though? It mostly caused me problems because I am pretty kinky and my sexual needs were not actually getting met. I bet if you were really fulfilled, you would not be in crisis over a past bj – you seem pretty secure in yourself and the marriage. So – what else is missing? In what way is your cup not full so that it’s coming out in this fashion?
my partner calls it making love (the intimate, slow, hot and heavy making out type sex), and fucking (holding each other down and just fulfilling primal urges.) there is a time and a place for both.
Its a thing yes. But you need to go to therapy to understand why. Its not a healthy thing.
?? Am I the only one who likes to feel the teeth on my penis? Also I'm surprised you don't feel anything with a condom! In my experience, it adds something more, and puts more pressure on the glans, and my ex-partner loved to overstimulate it!
She keeps telling me she doesn't understand why I'm pissed and that its not a big deal to her so it shouldn't be to me. Lol. I'm worried for our national security.
If you JUST lost your vigrinity it'll hurt you for couple more days, give it a pause and then jump into it again. And as others said, you could potentially use some lube or spit to make it more comfortable if you're not wet enough
Idc if they are fat or not I’m just giving a solution haha
Yikes! NOT my thing, but just be careful, or at least hygienic, and you do you!
We have a pillowtop with a memory foam topper on it. It's like trying to fuck on a giant marshmallow. But we get a good workout.
Yeah its been fun for us too, and she gets really excitable when we do talk about it. Seems like it might just have to be a slow burn
Dude just tell her what you like to do, the worst case scenario is you’ll get a NO for an answer and you would never find your self thinking about what if’s…
I've got an “outie” which I don't hate and I don't know why you'd hate yours.
Yes… but honestly i feel like if she was brave enough to ask you to dance with her, ride the bus together and inviting herself to your place, she should have just asked you out
Your boyfriend 100% knows and 100% doesn't care and probably even likes what you've got. I'm sorry you're getting downvoted for an insecurity you have. That's cruel. Everyone has insecurities and it's not easy to talk someone out of theirs. When I was young, I was the same way about one boob being bigger than the other but as I got more experience, I realized no one actually cares and it's not the big deal I imagined it to be as a young woman. It's true what other people are telling you on here. It's not a big deal to guys, especially someone who is completely invested in you. I hope you are able to get through this and come to love your body but I know it takes time.
Blowjobs are complicated especially when you're still building trust. Our society tells young hetero men that their sexual value is derived from providing women with orgasms using their penis. We're also conditioned to believe that if a woman isn't receiving pleasure, that's selfish. Both of those ideas are reductionist and unhealthy because sex is more complicated than that. If your partner believes he isn't fulfilling his role, it can create stress because he feels like he is letting you down and that mental block could interfere with his ability to enjoy the experience. For me to finally relax enough to enjoy oral (and to finish) I needed to honestly believe on an emotional level that my wife wanted to do this, that she was enjoying it, and that it was all okay. I could rationally understand that she had given consent, she told me she wanted to do it, but I still needed to feel that. It took time and trust building before I was comfortable with it but now it is a regular part of our sexual life that we both cherish. If you want to try to work through this, communicate clearly that you want to do it, that he should relax because this time it's about his pleasure and he can pay it back later, and use enthusiastic sounds a reassurance to let him know you want to be doing what you're doing. That enthusiasm and occasional reassurance (or dirty talk) can work wonders.
😂
here are some tips! • use lots of lube, in your vagina, on his dick, reapply as necessary • either finger yourself or let him finger you first, this helps stretch you out • having an orgasm before pentration helps you relax mentally and physically, which can make it feel better it’ll get better with time, good luck and have fun!
Totally agree but I’m a woman. everything you said is on point except it’s not just a man thing.
Sounds awesome, that talk is very important. You’re going to be stress free for the foreseeable future now
Buy yourself some new shoes because you gotta RUN dude
I agree with you
Correction: every* guy has been jerking off for years and years
Look at how much thought you're putting into dirty talk right now. Couples talk about what they want in bed, it's not always cringe. In some conversations it will be fine to ask her “What's something you like about my dick?” as a curiosity, and you can tell her something you like about her body if she asks. And she can tell you if she likes the taste/smell/feel etc. If you ask “do you like my dick” that will be insecure. But after sleeping with a woman for a while there has to be a point where you can ask “What's something you like about my dick”, and it's going to be fun. Like during pillow talk.
Right!!!!