Is your boyfriend NT(neurotypical)? Has he ever been with an ND partner? There are things you can do to ease yourself into sex, if youâre interested in trying, but your boyfriend needs to be fully on board and understanding of your sensory issues. Try laying in bed together fully clothed and just hold/rub each others hands. Mutual, enthusiastic sex may be the goal, but it shouldnât be assumed it will happen. Take it off the table, if it makes you more comfortable. Talk to each other about whatever is going on in your heads â it doesnât need to be related to sex, but if you can talk through some of your feelings about it, it may be helpful. Try to maintain loving (not sexual) physical contact as much as you can handle and practice looking at each other from time to time, too. Ultimately, youâre trying to build a connection with him where you both feel safe to fully express yourselves without fear of judgement. If you feel comfortable with it, remove your shirts so that you can ease into a bit more physical contact. You can try holding each other and rubbing your hands up and down his back (or anything else â above the belt) but only if it feels good. Itâs okay to pull away for a bit if you feel too overwhelmed, but try to talk through it and return to touching each other when you feel able. Remember â sex is not on the table unless you both enthusiastically agree. Try not to feel pressured. You do not owe him anything. You will not be letting him down if you donât have sex. It would only be a let down if you âjust do itâ without actually wanting to. Your needs and feelings are valid and youâre not a burden for expressing them. If heâs moving too fast or telling you to open your legs before youâre ready â let him know. You can simply say, âno, Iâm not ready; I need (a break/ to stick with holding each other/ etc.). From there, you can remove more clothing as you feel comfortable and ease into more sexual touching/kissing (if kissing on the mouth is hard for you, try kissing his neck and body where you wonât be breathing in his hot breath). There are things you can do alone, too. Practice being naked and touching your own body. Do something physical that you enjoy and really take note of how it feels. Find physical sensations that feel good to you. This all takes time and patience, but if youâre both willing to work on it â it can really be worthwhile. If youâre asexual, however, just be firm about your boundaries and let him decide if heâs able to handle that. If not â itâs better to break it off and be alone or find new partners who are more compatible.
I think he would get excited because of the change. And, ofc, in porn it's mostly shaved. I don't currently know if I have a preference
What?? Captain strawman, sod off and rethink.
At that point why not just hire a real person
Is your boyfriend NT(neurotypical)? Has he ever been with an ND partner? There are things you can do to ease yourself into sex, if youâre interested in trying, but your boyfriend needs to be fully on board and understanding of your sensory issues. Try laying in bed together fully clothed and just hold/rub each others hands. Mutual, enthusiastic sex may be the goal, but it shouldnât be assumed it will happen. Take it off the table, if it makes you more comfortable. Talk to each other about whatever is going on in your heads â it doesnât need to be related to sex, but if you can talk through some of your feelings about it, it may be helpful. Try to maintain loving (not sexual) physical contact as much as you can handle and practice looking at each other from time to time, too. Ultimately, youâre trying to build a connection with him where you both feel safe to fully express yourselves without fear of judgement. If you feel comfortable with it, remove your shirts so that you can ease into a bit more physical contact. You can try holding each other and rubbing your hands up and down his back (or anything else â above the belt) but only if it feels good. Itâs okay to pull away for a bit if you feel too overwhelmed, but try to talk through it and return to touching each other when you feel able. Remember â sex is not on the table unless you both enthusiastically agree. Try not to feel pressured. You do not owe him anything. You will not be letting him down if you donât have sex. It would only be a let down if you âjust do itâ without actually wanting to. Your needs and feelings are valid and youâre not a burden for expressing them. If heâs moving too fast or telling you to open your legs before youâre ready â let him know. You can simply say, âno, Iâm not ready; I need (a break/ to stick with holding each other/ etc.). From there, you can remove more clothing as you feel comfortable and ease into more sexual touching/kissing (if kissing on the mouth is hard for you, try kissing his neck and body where you wonât be breathing in his hot breath). There are things you can do alone, too. Practice being naked and touching your own body. Do something physical that you enjoy and really take note of how it feels. Find physical sensations that feel good to you. This all takes time and patience, but if youâre both willing to work on it â it can really be worthwhile. If youâre asexual, however, just be firm about your boundaries and let him decide if heâs able to handle that. If not â itâs better to break it off and be alone or find new partners who are more compatible.
What he said
Small shouldn't mean bad.
Talk about about it and not try to do them yet talk first. Then donât do it all at once do it slowly.