Caveat, I am not Muslim and am not familiar with their practices. Would he be willing to speak to a spiritual leader/advisor about this issue? If the answer is yes, would that be at all helpful? A quick google search provided me with this resource, but being ignorant of your husbandās spiritual practice I do not know how applicable or widely accepted the information is. It does seem to take a much moreā¦modern view when it comes to intra-marital sex than I would have expected. With lines like, āIslam emphasizes on foreplay. Imam āAli (A.S.) says, āWhen you intend to have sex with your wife, do not rush because the woman (also) has needs (which should be fulfilled).ā ā and, āThe Prophet (S) said, āThree people are cruel: ā¦a person who has sex with his wife before foreplay.āā it feels like speaking about the issue with a spiritual leader may result in positive change for you. But having said that, Iām also going to say that your husband is allowed to have boundaries as much as you are. Sex isnāt meant to be transactional where one partner performs a particular act because they expect the other to then be obligated to reciprocate in kind. You, and he, should be performing sexual acts because you want to and because your partner enjoys them. He doesnāt like giving oral, okay thatās a boundary. Has he ever tried to use his hands? I would suggest toys, but the resource I posted above says foreign objects are forbidden. These seems like another area a spiritual advisor would be helpful for clarification. If he wonāt speak to his spiritual leader or a counselor and wonāt otherwise communicate about the issue, I hate to say it but stop having sex with him. Not to punish or manipulate, but because heās the only person enjoying himself and thatās not right or fair. Above all communicate with him about it. Try to frame it not as an attack (Al la, youāre not making sex fun or enjoyable for me) and keep it focused on you (Iām not enjoying Sex anymore and we need to figure out a way to make this work). Iām sorry the two of you are in this situation and I hope it works out.
If you were my daughter there'd be no more conversation…. or boyfriend. Just saying.
holy shit 140mph thank you the parking lot idea sounds better
Caveat, I am not Muslim and am not familiar with their practices. Would he be willing to speak to a spiritual leader/advisor about this issue? If the answer is yes, would that be at all helpful? A quick google search provided me with this resource, but being ignorant of your husbandās spiritual practice I do not know how applicable or widely accepted the information is. It does seem to take a much moreā¦modern view when it comes to intra-marital sex than I would have expected. With lines like, āIslam emphasizes on foreplay. Imam āAli (A.S.) says, āWhen you intend to have sex with your wife, do not rush because the woman (also) has needs (which should be fulfilled).ā ā and, āThe Prophet (S) said, āThree people are cruel: ā¦a person who has sex with his wife before foreplay.āā it feels like speaking about the issue with a spiritual leader may result in positive change for you. But having said that, Iām also going to say that your husband is allowed to have boundaries as much as you are. Sex isnāt meant to be transactional where one partner performs a particular act because they expect the other to then be obligated to reciprocate in kind. You, and he, should be performing sexual acts because you want to and because your partner enjoys them. He doesnāt like giving oral, okay thatās a boundary. Has he ever tried to use his hands? I would suggest toys, but the resource I posted above says foreign objects are forbidden. These seems like another area a spiritual advisor would be helpful for clarification. If he wonāt speak to his spiritual leader or a counselor and wonāt otherwise communicate about the issue, I hate to say it but stop having sex with him. Not to punish or manipulate, but because heās the only person enjoying himself and thatās not right or fair. Above all communicate with him about it. Try to frame it not as an attack (Al la, youāre not making sex fun or enjoyable for me) and keep it focused on you (Iām not enjoying Sex anymore and we need to figure out a way to make this work). Iām sorry the two of you are in this situation and I hope it works out.
Doctor, There's no loss in reaching out and clarifying it. What if it's something serious.
This š¤£