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Your whole room should be locked and then you can get a little lockbox for your toys. Also pink cherry has key chain sized ones to actually answer your question.
I'm having a hard time formulating a response that doesn't come off judgmental… so I'm going to start by saying that isn't my intention. I think it's really difficult when you don't have the support of your partner in the way you need it, but I have to ask, are you supporting her in the way she needs? It's a lot to switch up your sexual dynamic, that's one change, but to then support you in everything else that followed? She is probably feeling really overwhelmed. I kind of want to explore why this is making you question so much about yourself, though. I see that you find sex to be very spiritual, and that is okay, but is it possible you are putting too much weight into that? Sex is often where we explore our fantasies, it is taboo, dirty…we can be another version of ourselves behind closed door. It can feel really good to be uninhibited. I'm worrying though that those feel good hormones, that dopamine is carrying out the fantasy into your real life. Is it possible that you are trans? Maybe. It is also possible though that you're having a hard time processing this new dynamic and, when the pendulum swings, it can swing hard to the other side. It seems you have a lot of experience with the two extremes of the sexual spectrum, and that's a lot of role…fitting. I can imagine how it would be difficult with how you view sex to not let these hard and fast roles bleed into your identity. (Daddy/masc, sissy/fem). Ultimately I would say this is way above any of our pay-grades and if you do not have a processing therapist, you should get one. This is quite a lot to expect your partner, and only your partner, to support you through. Good luck.
You didn't consent to his dick in your ass, consent is key word here, just call it rape. Also, don't ever sleep with him again, because in his head he probably thinks next time he could do it again, if not even more.
Ah so you're a troll post, got it.